How a collage is a diagnostic tool

“What does it matter how many lovers you have if none of them gives you the universe?” French psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan posed that question. I invite you to put it at the top of your list of hot topics to meditate on. In doing so, I trust you won’t use it as an excuse to disparage your companions for their inadequacies. Rather, I hope it will mobilize you to supercharge your intimate alliances; to deepen your awareness of the synergistic beauty you could create together; to heighten your ability to be given the universe by those whose fates are interwoven with yours.
In the current live course, from Upset to Communication we have come to the last of the four non-elevated fields of communication, Admirer-admired. My horoscope, above, for the coming week reflects that.

One of my students has already sent me her collage. It has given me a glimpse into her internal conversations that is deeper than I have ever seen… and I have known her for almost six years now.

Collages, where you go through pictures in magazines, or memes on the internet, are the best way to reveal to yourself your relationship, opinion, attitude about the world, about others, about yourself, about effort, ambition, etc.

Making collages has two parts:

Let’s talk about your TLB, OK? Twitchy Little Bastard score is your TLB…

So, here I am, again, with tears dripping from my chin. Not from sadness, although there is sadness there. Not from happiness, not from grief, although there is grief there.
I have been watching videos of TED talks, all grouped, themed, around practice. Around getting better at something.
All are great, but the one by Carol Dweck ((Carol Dweck Stanford Psychology Professor researches “growth mindset” — the idea that we can grow our brain’s capacity to learn and to solve problems. In this talk, she describes two ways to think about a problem that’s slightly too hard for you to solve. Are you not smart enough to solve it … or have you just not solved it yet? A great introduction to this influential field.

developing_growth_mindset


)) and her findings is when I started to cry.
I may be smart, I may be an empath, but I am no educational scientist, even though I teach. And I struggle… struggle with what I call TLB and what she calls yes/no mindset, or “now” mindset.

How some questions you ask will determine your whole life, the moment you answer them

This morning I have been experiencing an emotional roller coaster… as I am cycling through tens of people as I accidentally connect to them. Some gurus, Murakami, his wife, a marketing guru, my next door neighbor, my brother, some students, a site visitor from Hungary, my architecture school friend.

I can feel my face, my mouth… and I can recognize the micro expressions and identify them.

And then, of course, the emotions of my own reaction to their internal state… judgment, compassion, pity, sympathy… I don’t with my life to my worst enemy.

I could write an article, a whole article, about each of them, but I’ll write about a word that screwed up countless lives… and probably still is.

As you know, a large period of my life I was an architect. Architecture school, in Hungary, is something you choose after high school, and it’s a five year study, every person takes the exact same classes.

The favorite or dreaded word of an architecture student was “talented” or “not talented”.