Readers ask… about negotiation, enrollment, differences of opinion, arguments

Dear Sophie:

I just watched this interview with the author of “Never Split the Difference.” It’s a book about negotiation techniques. The author is a former FBI hostage negotiator. I found it quite intriguing. My head was spinning just trying to keep up with the conversation. Afterwards, I was left with very mixed feelings. It seemed to me that my desire to learn more about these techniques was rooted in greed and a sense of wanting to learn in order to win or manipulate. Whatever the feeling, I am not comfortable with it; it was not a pure feeling. I have a different idea about communication, one having to do with connection, more along the lines of Steven Covey, ” Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood,” and Dale Carnegie, and the Communication Course. Maybe I misread the author (without having read the book). Maybe my aversion to learning negotiating techniques is related to my resistance to A is A. I am curious to know the truth value of the material and the intention behind it.



Your life and principles… Ask: To what end? What life you want to have had on your deathbed?

This article is stream of consciousness… I apologize for that.

Principles are tricky. Depending on your level of vibration, on the size of your cone of vision, on the number and size of patterns you can see, you’ll translate the principle down to your size.

A principle says something to me, and another thing to you.

And yet, being guided by principles, your results in life will be happier than if you choose to live your life from vague longings, goals, or following how the ones went before you lived their lives.

Shall I become popular, or shall I choose to do the work no one else is doing? You either do one or the other…

I am still looking at how to become an influencer… ((influencer: MARKETING a person or group that has the ability to influence the behaviour or opinions of others: The influencer is the individual whose effect on the purchase decision is in some way significant or authoritative))

It’s not really my ambition… ((ambition is a desire for a something, future, or a result that you are willing and able to work towards… as opposed to desire: desire is for a future or a result you imagined in the privacy of your mind, and expect or hope to befall on you without doing anything. Another aspect of desire is that it is always a desire for the self alone… because you have no value to offer in return of what you wish for. And often you want what belongs to another… You hope that the powers that be… spirit, god, angels will prefer you and take from that other and give it to you.)) I am much more comfortable doing my thing and barely be noticed. But it seems that in today’s day and age, unless you do a lot of hoopla, loud, self-promotion, partnering up with high visibility people, and other fashionable strategies, becoming an influencer is impossible.
I am still looking if I really want to become an influencer or not.
I learned about becoming an influencer from Tai’s free video on trend stacking. ((


A trend is, in this context, something that is becoming a fashion more and more. Something that has reached the masses and now they are jumping on the bandwagon. Popular…

My body is responding to this idea with massive indication that this is not my path. And yet…

And yet… increasing my sphere of influence, ((sphere of influence: a field or area in which an individual or organization has power to affect events and developments. In my case, the number of people who find it worthwhile to follow my articles and buy my products.)) even just doubling it would mean I can work with more people.

Judging from the past, each additional 100 people deliver, on average, one person who can and is willing to do the work to become worth a damn.

Spiritual Practice: ask What is it that I am not seeing? It gets you out of the mind

Most things that hide in plain sight are crucial to your success in life. You may be staring at them, but like a color blind person looking at the colored dots that hide the number… you cannot see. ((The truth value of what you can find to read, whether it was written by a PhD or a lay person, is around 7%.

Most of what is said is not true by virtue of it being false… And a very large part makes the whole of what is being said is because it is a very partial truth: narrow cone of vision. But asking the question: what is it I am not seeing may trigger the kind of looking that could dig that or at least some of it out of the invisible… even if it is invisible for everyone.

This is MY methodology: I ask that question to penetrate the invisible part of reality.

I call it channeling, but it is, of course, isn’t channeling, but everyone knows that channeling is good, and no one has a word, good or bad, to penetrate the invisible part of reality. So calling it channeling has stuck.

The truth value of what I say, on average, is above 60%… and that “channeling” is the reason… The other reason is muscle testing while connected to All-Knowledge which I lovingly call Source.

I do most of my work in conversations, including when I write an article. I don’t just write an article, I have one, two or more specific people I talk to in my writing… because it is of special interest to them.

Depending on the vibration of the person addressed, an article is popular or goes right over people’s head.

People can relate to the parts I write to my low vibration students… they can find themselves in it.

I am selfish, I write more conversational articles to my high achiever students… at the expense of my popularity.

This has been one of the things that was invisible until I asked the question today “What is it I am not seeing?”))

Between you and me: you probably have never asked yourself “What is it I am not seeing?” have you?

Why don’t you ask, why don’t you don’t look?

If you think that you know everything: you won’t look.
If you think you see clearly what’s in front of you… you won’t look.


Paris In The Spring Or The Benefits Of An Empty Mind

Paris in the spring… nice thought.
Stay with me for a moment!

I am part of a study group. We go to seminars together to learn integrity so we can live an unpredictably great life.

This past Sunday, when the sun was shining and it was the first nice-weather weekend of the year, five out of the seven members of the group forgot to call our conference line on Sunday. Paris in the spring…

The seminar leader suggested we declare a breakdown. “What’s declaring a breakdown?” Asked one of the members innocently.

I volunteered to write a little essay (that is like a one-page scientific paper, lol) and sent it out to everyone. And then the s-h-i-t hit the fan.

A spiritual practice that can change all the numbers in your Starting Point Measurements

If you’ve bought into the b.s. that thinking good thoughts, happy thoughts, being non-judgmental is good for you, ((Over 1 TRILLION, that is a thousand billion pages tout the misdirection perpetuated on you!)) then your vibration is low, but more importantly, your vibration cannot be raised, unless you let go of this b.s.

Let’s turn this baby on its head: if you bought into the b.s. that your thoughts create your reality, and you need to avoid thinking bad thoughts regarding yourself, the world, the future, other people, because it makes you and your life bad… then there is nothing I can ever do for you, unless you change your mind.

Why? Because you refuse to interact with reality, you refuse to base your actions on reality.
Reality is neither good nor bad, it is what it is.


Knowledge is not power… unless

Unless you know what you learned… you didn’t learn anything.
And unless what you leaned changes your behavior, inside or outside, nothing will change.

All learning is behavior modification, to become more fit to life, to play the game of life better, for yourself and for the human race.
So how do you modify behavior?
The process starts with an insight. The more energy is in the insight, the more energy you can bring to the insight, the easier it will be to make the modification.

Does life behave like a kayak or an automobile?

As I was answering a coaching student’s post on my Reclaim your life program, I had an insight.

The model you use to change your life, to make decision, to live your life is the model of the automobile.

Narrow streets, you make right angle turns, the motive power in the engine obeys your steering.

Life doesn’t work like an automobile. Life is a lot more like kayaking.

The way you adjust your direction is with tiny shifts of your paddle… no big moves are effective.

Unless you know what you learned, you didn’t learn anything

The last joke I heard before I left Hungary has stayed with me… and it’s very apropos today

Here is the joke: What are the two paths for Hungarian intelligentsia? ((intelligentsia: intellectuals or highly educated people as a group, especially when regarded as possessing culture and political influence.))

Answer: alcoholism. The other path is impenetrable…, in practice there is no second path.

This article is about humans, about you. And it tries to establish that in fact it’s possible to penetrate a second path… an evolutionary path, to become a human being, even if 99.5% of humanity isn’t interested in that path.

So let’s see how that applies to how it is today…

There are two schools of thought: the two paths… You really either choose the one or the other. There is no compromise…